2016... The year I learned to TRUST.

In 2013 a song came out called, Oceans by Hillsong. The moment I heard this song I fell in love with it like many others. The words, the truth and the proclamation behind this song was something I wanted to live out in my life. Throughout 2013- 2015 I often heard this song, sang it at church or saw quotes referring to it.  Those moments would ring truth, stir up my heart but I would continue to pray and ask God to do just what those words said… Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. The word in that line I held onto was TRUST.  I wanted to trust but always had a problem with it.  

Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me. 

Take me deep then my feet could ever wonder 

And my faith would be made stronger 

In the presence of my Savior. 

Around May 2015 this song took on a new meaning in my life.  I was at church one Sunday singing the very same song, when I was brought to tears.  I knew I was able to love without borders but my heart yearned for those truths that I sang about to come true.  I wanted to trust Him fully even if it meant stepping out of the boat or onto an unfamiliar path.  Fast forward to November 2015 when I met Troy and Tara Livesay… I immediately fell in love with this family.  As I visited with both of them my heart felt free, open and called to go to Haiti.  As my move date to Haiti approached this song continued to show up and began to reach more depths of my heart. This next chapter was going to call me to trust without limits.  I was going to a third world country where things would be different.  So I begin praying and asking God to make these words truth.  

So I will call upon your name.  

Keep my eyes above the waves. 

My soul will rest in your embrace. 

I am Yours and you are mine. 

So after that long explanation that is what my 2016 has been about.  Each of those verses rings truth to me.  I never in a million years would have thought a little single Texas girl like me would have packed up and moved to Haiti.  But through it all God made this possible and without me trusting Him I wouldn’t still be there  So as I wrap up 2016 my heart is thankful. I am thankful for following a call that I never thought would be possible, I am thankful that through the good days and bad days my God is still with me, I am thankful that he has taken me deeper than I could have ever wandered and my spiritual walk has been made stronger.  My heart is also overwhelmed by my family and friends.  You all have prayed for me, supported me and loved me from afar.   A year ago many of you thought I would was crazy, many of you were scared for me and many of you rallied in prayer for me. My biggest blessing in Haiti are my job and my friends.  It is amazing to see how God has brought certain friends into my life there.  We are able to support and love each other while dealing with the "this is Haiti" lifestyle.  However, teaching Isaac, Hope, Noah, Phoebe and Lydia everyday has and continues to be amazing.  While I may be missing some of my favorite kiddos at home these 5 have taught me more than most of my adults friends.  We have had good days, bad days, sad days and over it days.  We have gone through traffic for 6 hours, trips to the beach, no power for nights and shared many fun meals.  Some of my most treasured memories and lessons from this year are from these adventures.  Each of these kids is a unique gift from God.  I love learning with them,  growing with them  and I am forever thankful God has called me here for this season.

With all that said…. When I started this blog over year ago I knew it would be a lot to keep up with but a great way to process my thoughts of being in Haiti.  I proofread every post about 10 times because I have never been the best writer but thanks for sticking with me and hearing how God continues to move and work in Haiti and through me.  I am not sure what adventures God will lead me through in 2017 but I am ready. Father thank you for bringing me to Haiti and letting me know what it means to be called out upon the water.  For this I am thankful. 

If you feel lead to continue to help me you can donate to my go fund me at the following link. 

https://www.gofundme.com/yf9rr6p6

Cancer Sucks

Cancer sucks…. there isn’t a nice way to put it.  I believe it has touched everyone in different ways and it continues to effect families and lives daily.  It surrounds us and some days I am just overcome by the hurt this thing “cancer” causes.  Over the last two months I have tried to put into words how much it hurts but I just haven’t found the right words.  However, today as I checked my Timehop I was given this sweet memory and the reminder to live in the dash.  So I thought I would share some of my thoughts with you sweet friends!

This is a picture from one year ago when we laid my sweet friend Ryan to rest.  This was a sweet day of remembering her and while getting to send her sweet messages.  While sitting there listening to the pastor talk I was taken back and reminded of something important.  He spoke of Ryan, the journey she had been on but then he said, “we must live life in the dash”.  The “dash” was the moments in between birth and death... we must live life, showed up for one another, serve one another, and the list goes on.  This “dash” was something I had heard before but I had never really reflected on it.  I immediately jumped in my mind to everything Ryan and I had done together… Dance, Girl Scouts, Crafting, Spring Break shopping trips, College and many other exciting things.  I wondered to myself were those memories she cherished like I did and was I a good friend to her.  As I continued to reflect I thought about her dash and everything that went into it.  She touched so many lives until the end and showed many just how life should be lived. 

Since that day I have continued to think of the dash and reflect on what mine would look like.  Will people know me for who I am? What will I do to portray the love of Christ to others?  How can I follow God’s plan for my life? All of those questions have taught me to live alittle differently.  The last two years of Ryan’s life were hard, she never took things seriously and lived it up as much as she could.  I watched her stand strong on some of her weakest days but she never once gave up.  She taught me what a true fighter looks like and how to have hope and faith beyond measure.  

Thanks Ryan for showing me how to live in the dash, have faith, hope and strength  I love you and miss you daily.  

First Meeting

A year ago today was a night that forever changed my life…. for the first time I was going to take risk.  All I knew is that God had prepared me for this day and given me the passion that drove me to where I was.   

It was on this day that I met Troy Livesay for an interview in The Woodlands, TX after work.  I embarked on this ride with a dear friend and was nervous the whole way.  I knew at the end of this dinner he would either think I was the right fit or not, he would call his wife Tara to discuss the options and then call me to let me know the answer.  I had met Tara via Skype three weeks earlier which helped put me at ease a little but an interview just sounds and makes everything official.                         

When we arrived I was a mess… my mind flooded with emotions, questions and the unknown.  Could I really move to a third world country?  What would it look like?  What will my family and friends think?  Would I make friends in Haiti?  and the list went on and on.  However as I sat with Troy and we talked while asking questions and sharing I felt complete PEACE. It was a weird feeling and it’s hard to explain but everything I had prayed for over the last month felt right in my heart. 

As we left I didn’t know what to expect.  I got in the car and my friend said “Well, what do you think?”  I just looked at her and said I don’t know.  I am so confused and I am not sure if he liked me or if I even made sense while I was talking.  The whole way home we talked about how this door had been opened for me, how God had prepared this specific opportunity for me and how God will provide in this situation.  

Sure enough around 10:00 PM, Troy called and offered me the job.  I knew that if he called and offered me the job that he would need answer that night, to help with other planning and things.  I proudly said YES and thanked him and Tara for the opportunity.  I hung up the phone and couldn’t believe it.  It was November 2nd and in 2 months I would be moving to Haiti to live full time and teach 5 adorable children.  

Here I am one year later, sitting my apartment, we just finished a full day of school, celebrated one of those adorable children's 10th birthdays and I am still as thankful as I was a year ago.  It may not seem like a big deal to most of you but for me, this was the first time for me to move away from Texas, much less, Houston.  Everything I had ever know was going to change, my parents would be down the street, I wouldn't be able to call up a friend for dinner or run to HEB or Target real quick to grab something.  However, I knew in my heart for the last two years God was changed me but I wanted the right door to open at the right time.  Boy did he do that. I have leaned so much on this journey.  I have learned more about myself, how to take risks, how to trust, how to have faith as small as a mustard seed and much more.  Troy, Tara and their awesome kiddos have loved me, laughed with me, taken care of me and challenged me.  My heart is forever thankful for them and I feel lucky to be serving them here in Haiti. 

Batteries and Bugs!

After a Summer of talking about electricity and asking for donations I finally met my goal and was able to purchase new batteries. These batteries are like precious jewels to me.  Before I arrived on August 31, Troy installed them for me and got it all set up…. He is the best!  Living in Haiti teaches you never take electricity for granted.  We don’t have Reliant Energy or Gexa so heres how it works… You have EDH, which is electricity from the country.  It comes on when they feel like it.  There is no set schedule for this type of electricity.  Second you can have power through a generator.  Not all places have  a generator and they are expensive to run.  Here at Heartline we run a generator during the day so we are blessed to have power all day.  Lastly there is the Inverter, which is where the batteries come on.  The inverter comes on when the generator is off and there is no EDH.  Having batteries for this inverter allows me to have a fan on all night, lights to shower or read at night and not to mention my fridge can stay plugged in.

Why did I mention these batteries all Summer? Good question…When I left in June the batteries were completely shot. They were holding a charge for no longer than a few hours.  There were a few nights were it was cooler outside in the hammock so I would roll up like a cocoon so the mosquitos wouldn't get me and rest my eyes. I say rest cause who can really sleep with all the animal noises and the sunrise that happened about 4:45 AM.  With that said I am beyond thankful for my friends and family who have supported me with getting these four precious jewels.  

Besides learning about electricity and how to manage it… I believe God has a sense of humor and continuously shows me ways to grow even if they are silly.  I say silly because I have seen this come to light these last three weeks.  When it comes to bugs I would say I have a love/hate relationship.  I have never been afraid of them but I wouldn’t say they are my best friends.  Growing up in Girl Scouts we learned to deal with different critters and after owning a home for the last 10 years; I have had to battle some out on my own.  However being in Haiti has brought on a whole different relationships with bugs.  Mosquitoes and Geckos are a constant in my life and roaches are beginning to take a close second to Geckos.  I kill an average of one roach a night.  At first I would jump and do the girlie thing but now it’s become personal. I talk to them as if they can hear me, then begin to chase them or sneaky up slowly because they are the big flying ones.  Once they are in a good spot, they are toast.  Af I sit here and type this my suspect of the night just ran across the floor.  If roaches aren't enough last week I had the surprise of one of the biggest spiders I have ever seen up-close and in person.  It was like a baby tarantula.  It feel straight from the door frame as I opened the door and I just laughed.  As I chuckled I felt like this was just another little barrier God was breaking down to show me He’s got me and these little issues with power and bugs should be the least of my concerns. 

Happy Tuesday Friends and thanks for listening to my rant about batteries and bugs!  

Summer, School and Struggles... I'm still around!

Hey Y’all!!!  I’m still here and promise to be better at updating this thing…Well July and August came and went…. and just like that I am back in Haiti.  My trip home was a whirlwind with lots of Family, Friends, Fun and Food.  Most days were spent babysitting or housesitting so I could earn a little cash to use while at home.  I was blessed by lots of you and your willingness to offer a place stay, a car to drive, a fun getaway and sweet meals and hangouts.  It was in each of those interactions that I was reminded of “COMMUNITY” and how others are there to support me on this journey.  With that said I do want to say, my time home wasn’t all rainbows and roses every day.  There were times where reverse culture shock got the best of me.  I’m not sure anyone can prepare for the culture shock one will face when going home but I sure wish there was a little manual to read about it.  When I got home I tried really hard to suck it up until one day I just lost it.  However in that weak moment I took some time to process different things people had told me and warned me about.  It was in those moments I chose to cling to truth and process the raw emotion that came with it.  God showed me a lot about having FAITH (I will post more on this at a later date) and continues proves He is in this.

Enough about the Summer in Texas…. It is still “Summer” in Haiti, well weather wise it is.  It’s about an average 90’ degrees outside and it’s very dry.  If the sun isn’t out then it is raining which has been nice to some extent. School started last Monday and I couldn’t be more excited.  This year I have taken on the challenge of teaching the kids by myself.  We are 6 days in and so far so good.  God has set me up with some great mentors in Texas who helped me prepare for this coming year.  I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world right now… These kids are world changers.  They each bring something different to the table while challenging each other along with myself.  It’s been a blessing to walk with them and I pray God continues to use me in their lives.  

Keeping it real….Besides school the transition back to Haiti has not been the easiest for me.  I was eager to get here because there were books I needed to read and things I needed to find at the school house.  However let’s be honest once I got here it all hit like a ton of bricks.  Why am I back here?  What am I doing?  Is there where I am suppose to be?  As I started to unpack I got a voxer message from Tara and it made me laugh and cry.  She said, “Are you crying yet? Give yourself a few days to adjust and remember to give yourself permission to cry.”  Well thanks Tara for the reminder because that happened and has a few times.  It’s funny that in moments like that we try to have the hardshell, tough look like we have everything together.  Maybe I shouldn’t say we because clearly I can’t speak for you guys but I know for me I love to have it all together or seem like I do… however it’s in those silent moments I am reminded that deep down inside it’s okay to be scared, sad, or even have doubt what is going on. My prayer is that when I face those moments I will hear God’s truth and remember His faithfulness through it all.

Well I hope this gives you a little glimpse back into my life.  I promise to keep you updated and will work hard to keep it real.  

Missing Out and the Chatterbox

There are seasons in most people's life were we will miss out on different things.  Sometimes that can be early on as a child if you move around or if you choose to go to college out of town.  Other find this season later in life when they are busy with careers or general life adventures.  For me this season is now and it is weird.  I have never lived away from home and knew it would be different in some aspects.  However I see this season getting a little harder lately in two different areas.  

The first is missing out in Texas... As we entered May I knew there would be multiple things I would be missing out on.  It didn't hit me until Mother's Day about how many different things I would be missing.  I know sometimes in life we take things for granite but I do love making memories and being their to support loved ones with big celebrations. This weekend is my niece, Avery's first dance recital.  If you know me you know how much dance was apart of my life.  It kills me to know I am missing it but she has assured me of a few things:  1) We will watch the video when I return, 2) She is the best in her class (The picture of the text conversation is between her and I on my moms phone) and 3) She gets to wear lipstick!  She and her brother are my world!  I think one of the best things in this life is being an AUNT!

The second area is missing out in Haiti...  As I prepare to leave for the Summer I hate thinking of what I will miss out on here.  Just like my close friends in Texas these people have become my family here.  They have laughed with me, cried with me and even built me up at times.  I know they will carry on just fine with out me but the fear of missing out is still real.  I do find comfort that when I get back it will look a lot different from the first time I arrived here in January.  I will have those friends and the amazing Livesay family waiting for me with lots of stories and laughs.

With all that said and as I have been processing the last few days I am choosing to not let Satan run my chatterbox inside my head.  It's easy to give up and believe those lies like... I'm not a good enough Aunt because I am missing out or the lie of not being a good friend as my friends get married or have babies and I am not close to help.  As those false ideas chatter in my head I am choosing to believe that God has me where he wants me.  He is working in and through me.  No one said this would be easy but I do know this was all in His plan.  

Visit Home and My Future Plans

It's been a while since I wrote a blog so I thought I would just clue you in on life and what's been happening.  Life in Haiti is still Bon.  (That's GOOD in Kreyol). I am constantly amazed at how much God is teaching me here and the different ways he uses things to get my attention.  This time has been more than I could have ever imagined.  

A week and half ago I made my first trip back to the States since I left in January.  The day I landed marked 100 days since I had been gone.  It was a great trip but such a whirlwind.  It's funny how when you hit the ground in America you snap back into go mode. I loved getting to hug my family and friends and of course eat Chick-Fil-A.  The main reason for my trip home was to celebrate the wedding of one of my sweetest, dear friends Blair.  Blair and I have been in each other's life for over 16 years and I think of her as a sister. I loved being apart of the #dicksonduo and celebrating this new chapter in their lives.  Then just like that after 5 quick days oh and one flood day I was back to Haiti.

We have 6 weeks of school left and then we are on Summer Break!  It's fun to see how much these kiddos have grown since January.  They continually amaze me at their work ethic, creativity and love for each other.  I feel like I am constantly learning from them and for that I am blessed.  Being apart of their education and journey has taught me so much.  

In other news, I am sure many of you are wondering what I will do when I come home for the Summer and next year so with that said I will be coming back to HAITI!  I have decided to continue teaching in Haiti for September 2016- June 2017.  I am excited about the year ahead and look forward to new fun things.  I will be home this Summer for two full months so I will have plenty of time for family, friends and fun.  With that being said I wanted to leave you with a few prayer request or things to be sending me good vibes on: 

1). While home this Summer I will be able to make money to support my bills and expenses over those two months.

2). The support I need for the Fall and Spring in Haiti will start to fall into place and work out. 

3).  I will use my time wisely and prepare for the semester ahead with lesson plans and projects.  

Thanks for walking on this journey with me!

Called Me Higher

You have called me Higher

You have called me Deeper

And I'll go where You will lead me Lord

- Called Me Higher by All Sons and Daughters

One of my friends sent me this song by All Sons and Daughters about two weeks ago.  I am a huge fan of worship music but especially love songs that relate to the journey I am currently on.  I love how some songs relate to valleys, peaks and even prayer requests. The words to this song are exactly how I feel daily here in Haiti.  As I ride my moto around town, as I walk through the market and even as I walk the compound to work I am reminded that I have been called here.  Sometimes I laugh and think WHAT or HOW is He using me here but then I am reminded quickly.  Anyways... Back to the song, the truth is that we all find ourselves trying to control what we have.  Many times in all circumstances I know I choose to not have hope or choose to hold on to who I am because I am scared of what may happen.  But we must remember that He is the sustainer of life.  God's calling for our life is never more than we can handle.  After being in Haiti now for 3 months I know He will never call me higher, deeper or farther than I can go.  There is a purpose to everything we come across; good, bad and fun but we must choose to see Him in the light of it all.  Here is a link to the song for you to hear it.

Not everyday here has been roses... Some days I feel dirty, some days I want air conditioning and some days I want to just jump in my own car and drive to Chick-Fil-a.  But as I mentioned before the butterfly is a sweet reminder that it's okay to feel that way.  I have to remember God has me where he wants me and is working through me.  On Friday, I had one of those moments, I let the fear and stress take over my emotions.  I was trying to control the future and how it would all play out.  While I was walking around outside that afternoon I prayed that God would show me a sign, just a sign to ensure me He hadn't forgotten about me.  The afternoon went home and  took a nap.  When I got up to leave for a friends house I walked outside and this was on my porch.

The biggest butterfly I had seen while in Haiti and the most beautiful color yellow.  I laughed to myself and knew He was listening.  It was a sweet reminder I needed and I will cherish those cry out to Jesus moments.  

From Caterpillar to Butterfly

Many years ago I was taught that God can send little reminders to you through out the day in forms of anything.  I wasn't sure what this meant but went with it.  To some people this could be a word, an object or just a simply reminder.  It is in these sweet moments God is telling us that He is constantly there and aware of where we are.  

To me that reminder has been butterflies... My first encounter with this realization was after I went through a bad breakup.  One day I was sitting outside, enjoying the sunshine and reading a book called, "I've Never Been to Vegas but My Luggage Has" by Mandy Hale. In this book she shares about her mishaps, heartbreaks and flops and how we don't have to let those moments define us.  We must learn from those things and move on. There were a few chapters that stuck out to me and I could hear God speaking clearly to my heart.  As I sat and read that afternoon I came to chapter about letting go and having faith in what's to come and here across my lap flew a beautiful orange and brown butterfly.  I stopped and closed my eyes and thanked God for the amazing sweet reminder that he is always near.   

Fast forward to my adventure in Haiti.... Every day I see a butterfly while sitting at school, the pool or on my porch.  I love when my eye catches one and I can think of God and the sweet reminder it is to me.  This past week I thought it was really neat because I saw my first caterpillar.  

I was taken back by the vibrant colors and how it looked.  I am sure I have seen one before at the zoo but never had I walked outside and seen such a creature.  This sweet little yellow, green and red crawly critter represented a lot to me.  It showed me the full circle of life and how there are different stages that we go through. The stages of a caterpillar are interesting to me... it's interesting because this creature goes from crawling to a cocoon to a beautiful, flying insect.  Although we as individuals are not insects I still believe our cycle is similar.  We continue to grow physically, mentally and spiritually each day.  However when we change spiritually inside and have to have faith to take that flight out of the cocoon.  That cocoon is our safe zone, our home, our community that we feel safest in.   

For me that was to move to Haiti.  I love how God uses moments to change us and grow us into a beautiful butterfly.  I am thankful that I have begun my flight and learned to spread my wings.  My faith is being tested but I am reminded daily when I see a butterfly that He is with me and will never leave me.  I pray you see a butterfly today ad you are reminded that He is with you.   

Two Months In

Today marks two months since I arrived in Haiti.  These two months have been challenging, fun, different and life changing.  After coming to Haiti for 4 years I never thought I would say I live here.  I am beyond thankful for this opportunity and wouldn't change it for anything in the world.  

My journey here has been more than I can ever imagine.  I thought by now I would have cried cause I missed home or my family or been angry at God and wondered what the heck was I doing here. However it has been quite the opposite... God has shown me a lot about myself, taken me out of many comfort zones and given me sweet friends here to help on those not so good days.  I am thankful for FaceTime that allows me to talk to loved ones every week because with out that I would be missing home a lot more.  Each day as I go about my daily routine there are two things that continue to show me how amazing this journey is.  The first is my job as a teacher. Coming into this I didn't know what to expect since we were the "new teachers".  But I am constantly encouraged by the kiddos and there their love for life and learning.  Yes they have their moments but they have honestly taught me so much.  I love seeing their hearts and hearing their questions and comments about different subjects.  Along with teaching I am constantly in awe of the people of Haiti.  As I ride around on my moto each day I see things that continually make me think "wow" or "look at that".  At least 5 times I have seen men pulling metal type wagons full of lumber or metal on their backs in the road where cars are everywhere.  I am also taken back as I see children walking to and from everywhere most of the time alone.  It just makes me realize how fortunate we are in the States and how we protect our children, we nurture them and they have safe means to get and from.  

Yes I miss things from home as many of you have asked.  I miss my family and friends the most along with Mexican food.  But it's the little things I miss the most are the little things in life at home.  I miss hot water in the shower, Air conditioning, flushing my toilet paper, brushing my teeth with the sink water to name a few.  We always joke around and say "First World Problems" but it's the truth.  We don't realize what we have until it's not apart of our everyday life.  To me these things are now a bonus... I look forward to them but know that I can do anything in life. 

Our version of chips and queso= Haitian Happy Hour!

I look forward to the next 3 months ahead and how God is going to use those days to continue to break my heart.  My heart has been broken but it is a different type then the first time I came to Haiti. I pray He continues to use me and allows me to be a difference maker.  Love you all and thankful for your continued support and love.  

Hallie and I!

The Livesay Kiddos!  

Sweet new girl friends!

Two of my favorites.. Jess and Alison

I Surrender

This past Sunday I attended church with one of my new friends here, Jess. This particular church is an English speaking church where both Haitian and Americans go.  I wasn't sure what to expect but wanted to check it out.  I was a little nervous as anyone is visiting a church for the first time but I genuinely loved it.   It was Valentine's Day and the message was on Agape Love.  The pastor spoke on how God's love is vast, eternal, limitless, unending, redemptive, tender and unfathomable.  This message served as a great reminder to me and helped me remember to show the love of Christ through my actions and self.  

However I want to step back to the beginning of the service when I walked into church.  The worship band was already playing and if you know me you know I love to worship.  We found our seat and started to sing... Then I was taken back.  I looked up to see a Haitian worship team singing in english and then looked around me and saw multiple Haitian men and women worshipping in english.  You may be thinking, "yeah Page you are in Haiti so of course they were there" but that's not always the case.  I have never been to a church in Haiti with english speaking much less others singing in english.   My heart was overflowing for many different reasons but most of all the image of us being one body, worshipping the same God no matter the differences.  

As I stood there the third song they started to play was, " I Surrender" by Hillsong.  This is a song I have sang many times through different valleys but it meant so much more this time.  Here I am standing in Haiti, in a church singing out words that I want to proclaim in my life.

I surrender

I surrender

I want to know you more

I want to know you more

Like the rushing wind

Father breath within

Lord have your way

Lord have your way in me

At the end of the song I stopped, closed my eyes and was in awe of His mercies and the sweet reminder that He is that breath and wind to my life.  I was reminded that no matter where you come from, what you have or where you have been He is the same.

Father I'm here and my arms are stretched out to you. I surrender.  I can't control it all and can't continue to make it about me.  My heart is being changed and broken here in Haiti and you are showing me how to break down walls, break down comfort zones and be with you. You are the giver of life and I pray I can continue to surrender to you.  Lord have your way in me and continue to use me.

Learning to be a Reader!

If you know me, I wouldn't say, sit and be quite would be one of the ways you describe me. I am always on the go, helping others and just busy bee. I never have loved to sit down and read a book.  It has always been something I wanted to try like running (LOL) but never follow through. I buy a new book or two that look every interesting and say okay, this is it!  We all fail at different things in life but we must continue to push ourselves and try it again.  

So that is were I am with reading.... since coming to Haiti I have read 3 books and will started my 4th book today! Yes that 4 books in a 1 1/2 months.  I should start a reading club... Just kidding.  In Haiti things are different so I do have more time to myself to stop the electronics and other distractions.  I am learning to love books but I am not sure what kinds of books I like.  I have always been big on books that are applicable to my life. Such as How can I better myself or the world around me, Growing my relationship with Christ and other relationship type books.

Here are my recent reads:

#1- Believing Jesus by Lisa Harper: An amazing book that went through the Book of Acts while asking the important question, "Are you willing to Risk it all". I loved the challenge behind this along with her adventures in life that portrayed what it looked like in lie today.  

#2- The Singles Woman's Sassy Guide to Letting Go and Moving On by Mandy Hale: This book was recommended by a friend as a quick, awesome read.  So I decided to check this out since I love Mandy Hale's blog and other books she has written.  In this book she covered the five major areas of life that we often find ourselves needing to let go of: Relationships, Friendships, Jobs, Opportunities, and Grievances. She took each of the five areas then explained the Who, the What, the Why, the When, and the How. My favorite part of the book was at the end of each chapter, she reviewed the Five Fabulous Finds from that section which helped me with great "take always"

#3- For the Love by Jen Hatmaker:  This book is hands down the most authentic book I have read to date.  It is full of truth, wisdom and lots of laughs.  Jen talks about our joys, struggles, thrills, and heartbreaks related to people, beginning first with ourselves and then continuing with the people we are surrounded by.  She talks about how these people come from all different walks and can be the best and worst thing about the human life.

#4- Angry Conversations with God y Susan Isaacs:  This is the book I am currently reading.  This book was recommended by Mandy Hale on a list of books so I am pretty pumped.  I will let you know my thoughts once completed.

With that said I am open to hearing what you are reading or any suggestions you may have for me!

As always all is good here in Haiti.  I still feel blessed to be here and have been given this opportunity.  My purpose and perspective are changed and challenged daily.  I love it and I am thankful for the sacrifices made to get to a new place.  As for Haiti, there has been some Political stuff going on but nothing major.  The President stepped down last Sunday and Carnival was this past week.  So I would say the country has had a lot going on.  Please continue to pray for this place and these people.  

Love you all!

I Am Not Alone

As I woke up today I remembered there was something significant to me than just the start of a new month; it was one month since I left home... Wow it seems a lot longer than that.  As I started the day I realized how thankful I am to be here and then remembered a song I have had on repeat lately.  I have always been a fan of Kari Jobe's music but the song, "I Am Not Alone" has taken on a whole new meaning to me.  I first heard it on her "Majestic" album about 8 months ago and immediately fell in love with the song.  My time is Haiti has continuously taught me how to rely on Him and know that He has gone before me. I wanted to share the words to the chorus of the song.  She writes this:

I am not alone

I am not alone

You will go before me

You will never leave me

It is this phrase that I have constantly rested on, repeated and prayed about.  As I have mentioned before my comfort zone and other barriers are slowly being challenge.  I am learning to trust Him and have faith that no matter the outcome He is in it.  My God is bigger than a fear or worry I have about being here.  It amazes me to think that all this was part of His plan for me all along.  

Looking back and resting in Him... I have learned a number of things in the 4 weeks I have been in Haiti:

1) Not everything will go according to plan and that is okay.  Just live in the moment and make the best of it. 

2) "Live It Up"- As my sweet friend, Ryan taught me... We must live life to the fullest and have no regrets.  She was my definition of strength and I'm trying to be as strong as she was.  

3) Embrace the culture: This past week Hallie and I took our first moto ride which lead to 3 more this past weekend.  We are becoming pros but I am still not sold on them.  The first one was an adventure to say the least.  I was your typical American girl who hugged the drivers belly and didn't care at all.  I closed my eyes half the ride and just prayed we made it there safe.  

4) Community is important and has helped make the weekends a little easier.  We have met some other Americans who range from living here for years to being here for two weeks. It's encouraging to hear their stories and experiences here. (Again I am not Alone)

4) To be stronger it is okay to have struggles, challenges and take risks.  Each of these things and more add character to who you.  Faith in God isn't a walking he park but if you are willing to step out He will challenge you and make you into something stronger.

First Moto Ride!!!!

Some friends at th pool!

Isaac caught the turkey so why not take a picture!

I pray this next month is just as refreshing and rewarding as the first one.  Thank you for continuously praying for me and following my journal.  I pray that you would begin this new month with a new start.  His mercies are new each day!

Love you all!

Beautifully In Over my Head!

Today marks 3 weeks since I left home, today also marks one of the longest times I have been away from home....thank God for FaceTime!  I remember it like it was yesterday.  I remember hugging my mom, walking away and losing it.  Then walking into the airport hugging my dad, walking away and continue the tears.  At that moment I thought to myself what have I gotten myself into.  I tried hard in that moment to remember that I was stepping out of the boat and having faith but it was hard.  

Back track to October with me real quick...this is when I start the process of praying and figuring out if Haiti was where I needed to be.  A sweet of mine sent me the song below, "In Over My Head" by Bethel Music.  As I listened to the song my eyes teared up because these were the exact feelings I was having with myself and God.  The words hit home and continue to today as I am living out this new adventure.  I have always tried to control every aspect of my life but I knew in order have faith I had to allow God to tear down certain things.  I wasn't sure what God was doing in my heart but I vowed to myself to trust Him and be obedient.  I never once thought I accidentally stumbled across the Livesay's blog or post.  I was happy and content with life in Texas.  I had a job, a house, a car, family down the street, friends to distract and encourage me and many other things at my disposal.  However I was at place where I longed to know Him more and quench my thirst for more.  So after many alone times with God I knew none of things meant much to me because there was in fact more He wanted for me.  I knew I was blessed but I hadn't fully trusted God or stretched my faith outside of my bubble.  I wanted to be in over my head and know that he will help me.  After 21 days it is still a challenge for me but like the lyrics to the song... Would you take me back to the place where my heart was only about You, And all I wanted was just to be with You... I know in these still moments God is working in my heart and showing me what it means to get further and further away from the "shore".

I love when I find a song that relates to my story and where I am right now.  Please take time to listen to this song by Bethel Music and let these words soak in!  

http://youtu.be/6mAvt3CxEQM

"In Over my Head" By Bethel Music

I have come to this place in my life

I'm full but I've not satisfied

This longing to have more of You

And I can feel it my heart is convinced

I'm thirsty my soul can't be quenched

You already know this but still

Come and do whatever You want to

I'm standing knee deep but I'm out where I've never been

And I feel You coming and I hear Your voice on the wind

Would  you come and tear down the boxes that I have tried to put You in

Let love come teach me who You are again

Would you take me back to the place where my heart was only about You

And all I wanted was just to be with You

Come and do whatever You want to

And further and further my heart moves away from the shore

Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours

And further and further my heart moves away from the shore

Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours

Then You crash over me and I've lost control but I'm free 

I'm going under, I'm in over my head

Then you crash over me, and that's where You want me to be

I'm going under, I'm in over my head

Whether I sink, whether I swim

It makes no difference when I'm beautifully in over my head

Whether I sink, whether I swim

It makes no difference when I'm beautifully in over my head

I'm Beautifully in over my head, I'm Beautifully in over my head

Typical Day

Days in Haiti are definitely different than days in Texas!  At home I would go, go, go and here I have learned to slow down... and by slow down I mean I still have a schedule but I am not constantly worrying about what's next or how will it get done.  It's awesome how God uses things to show you what matters the most and slow you down.  

Most of you have asked what a typical day looks like to me so I thought I would share that with you all!  Here is goes...

School starts at 9:00 AM so Hallie and I wake up around 8:00 AM...well I guess I should say between 6:00-6:30 AM when "ROKO" the rooster starts his morning routine.  School consists of Math, Typing, Geography, Reading, Science, English and Elective.  Each day we spend about 45 minutes doing each area and have time for fun as well.  These kiddos keep me laughing and up to date on the cool music!

The Livesay Bunch!

Once school is done for the day Hallie and I head back to our apartment and hangout.  Our evenings consist of a wide range of different things: reading, coloring, cooking, working out or watching Netflix. We have to be pretty flexible because sometimes we do not always have the best electricity.  The compound runs on a generator or city power during the day which means we can use our fans, charge phones and laptops and have numerous things on but at night sometimes we switch to battery power which means we have to conserve our usage so we don't drain the batteries.  It's been a learning experience but an easy one.

Our Patio workout set-up

Life in Haiti has been good... I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything.  3 weeks have gone by and I miss my family and friends but I know I can do anything with prayer and faith.  God has showed up big time and is stretching me beyond boundaries. I love this quote from Mandy Hale that I saw this week and feel as though this is me for 2016.

As I wrap up this update I ask that you continue to pray for a few different things.  Please pray for the Livesay's, Hallie and myself as we continue to adapt to new schedules and new surrounds.   Also please pray for Haiti as whole, this country is special to my heart and has many different needs.