I Surrender

This past Sunday I attended church with one of my new friends here, Jess. This particular church is an English speaking church where both Haitian and Americans go.  I wasn't sure what to expect but wanted to check it out.  I was a little nervous as anyone is visiting a church for the first time but I genuinely loved it.   It was Valentine's Day and the message was on Agape Love.  The pastor spoke on how God's love is vast, eternal, limitless, unending, redemptive, tender and unfathomable.  This message served as a great reminder to me and helped me remember to show the love of Christ through my actions and self.  

However I want to step back to the beginning of the service when I walked into church.  The worship band was already playing and if you know me you know I love to worship.  We found our seat and started to sing... Then I was taken back.  I looked up to see a Haitian worship team singing in english and then looked around me and saw multiple Haitian men and women worshipping in english.  You may be thinking, "yeah Page you are in Haiti so of course they were there" but that's not always the case.  I have never been to a church in Haiti with english speaking much less others singing in english.   My heart was overflowing for many different reasons but most of all the image of us being one body, worshipping the same God no matter the differences.  

As I stood there the third song they started to play was, " I Surrender" by Hillsong.  This is a song I have sang many times through different valleys but it meant so much more this time.  Here I am standing in Haiti, in a church singing out words that I want to proclaim in my life.

I surrender

I surrender

I want to know you more

I want to know you more

Like the rushing wind

Father breath within

Lord have your way

Lord have your way in me

At the end of the song I stopped, closed my eyes and was in awe of His mercies and the sweet reminder that He is that breath and wind to my life.  I was reminded that no matter where you come from, what you have or where you have been He is the same.

Father I'm here and my arms are stretched out to you. I surrender.  I can't control it all and can't continue to make it about me.  My heart is being changed and broken here in Haiti and you are showing me how to break down walls, break down comfort zones and be with you. You are the giver of life and I pray I can continue to surrender to you.  Lord have your way in me and continue to use me.

Learning to be a Reader!

If you know me, I wouldn't say, sit and be quite would be one of the ways you describe me. I am always on the go, helping others and just busy bee. I never have loved to sit down and read a book.  It has always been something I wanted to try like running (LOL) but never follow through. I buy a new book or two that look every interesting and say okay, this is it!  We all fail at different things in life but we must continue to push ourselves and try it again.  

So that is were I am with reading.... since coming to Haiti I have read 3 books and will started my 4th book today! Yes that 4 books in a 1 1/2 months.  I should start a reading club... Just kidding.  In Haiti things are different so I do have more time to myself to stop the electronics and other distractions.  I am learning to love books but I am not sure what kinds of books I like.  I have always been big on books that are applicable to my life. Such as How can I better myself or the world around me, Growing my relationship with Christ and other relationship type books.

Here are my recent reads:

#1- Believing Jesus by Lisa Harper: An amazing book that went through the Book of Acts while asking the important question, "Are you willing to Risk it all". I loved the challenge behind this along with her adventures in life that portrayed what it looked like in lie today.  

#2- The Singles Woman's Sassy Guide to Letting Go and Moving On by Mandy Hale: This book was recommended by a friend as a quick, awesome read.  So I decided to check this out since I love Mandy Hale's blog and other books she has written.  In this book she covered the five major areas of life that we often find ourselves needing to let go of: Relationships, Friendships, Jobs, Opportunities, and Grievances. She took each of the five areas then explained the Who, the What, the Why, the When, and the How. My favorite part of the book was at the end of each chapter, she reviewed the Five Fabulous Finds from that section which helped me with great "take always"

#3- For the Love by Jen Hatmaker:  This book is hands down the most authentic book I have read to date.  It is full of truth, wisdom and lots of laughs.  Jen talks about our joys, struggles, thrills, and heartbreaks related to people, beginning first with ourselves and then continuing with the people we are surrounded by.  She talks about how these people come from all different walks and can be the best and worst thing about the human life.

#4- Angry Conversations with God y Susan Isaacs:  This is the book I am currently reading.  This book was recommended by Mandy Hale on a list of books so I am pretty pumped.  I will let you know my thoughts once completed.

With that said I am open to hearing what you are reading or any suggestions you may have for me!

As always all is good here in Haiti.  I still feel blessed to be here and have been given this opportunity.  My purpose and perspective are changed and challenged daily.  I love it and I am thankful for the sacrifices made to get to a new place.  As for Haiti, there has been some Political stuff going on but nothing major.  The President stepped down last Sunday and Carnival was this past week.  So I would say the country has had a lot going on.  Please continue to pray for this place and these people.  

Love you all!

I Am Not Alone

As I woke up today I remembered there was something significant to me than just the start of a new month; it was one month since I left home... Wow it seems a lot longer than that.  As I started the day I realized how thankful I am to be here and then remembered a song I have had on repeat lately.  I have always been a fan of Kari Jobe's music but the song, "I Am Not Alone" has taken on a whole new meaning to me.  I first heard it on her "Majestic" album about 8 months ago and immediately fell in love with the song.  My time is Haiti has continuously taught me how to rely on Him and know that He has gone before me. I wanted to share the words to the chorus of the song.  She writes this:

I am not alone

I am not alone

You will go before me

You will never leave me

It is this phrase that I have constantly rested on, repeated and prayed about.  As I have mentioned before my comfort zone and other barriers are slowly being challenge.  I am learning to trust Him and have faith that no matter the outcome He is in it.  My God is bigger than a fear or worry I have about being here.  It amazes me to think that all this was part of His plan for me all along.  

Looking back and resting in Him... I have learned a number of things in the 4 weeks I have been in Haiti:

1) Not everything will go according to plan and that is okay.  Just live in the moment and make the best of it. 

2) "Live It Up"- As my sweet friend, Ryan taught me... We must live life to the fullest and have no regrets.  She was my definition of strength and I'm trying to be as strong as she was.  

3) Embrace the culture: This past week Hallie and I took our first moto ride which lead to 3 more this past weekend.  We are becoming pros but I am still not sold on them.  The first one was an adventure to say the least.  I was your typical American girl who hugged the drivers belly and didn't care at all.  I closed my eyes half the ride and just prayed we made it there safe.  

4) Community is important and has helped make the weekends a little easier.  We have met some other Americans who range from living here for years to being here for two weeks. It's encouraging to hear their stories and experiences here. (Again I am not Alone)

4) To be stronger it is okay to have struggles, challenges and take risks.  Each of these things and more add character to who you.  Faith in God isn't a walking he park but if you are willing to step out He will challenge you and make you into something stronger.

First Moto Ride!!!!

Some friends at th pool!

Isaac caught the turkey so why not take a picture!

I pray this next month is just as refreshing and rewarding as the first one.  Thank you for continuously praying for me and following my journal.  I pray that you would begin this new month with a new start.  His mercies are new each day!

Love you all!