Cancer Sucks

Cancer sucks…. there isn’t a nice way to put it.  I believe it has touched everyone in different ways and it continues to effect families and lives daily.  It surrounds us and some days I am just overcome by the hurt this thing “cancer” causes.  Over the last two months I have tried to put into words how much it hurts but I just haven’t found the right words.  However, today as I checked my Timehop I was given this sweet memory and the reminder to live in the dash.  So I thought I would share some of my thoughts with you sweet friends!

This is a picture from one year ago when we laid my sweet friend Ryan to rest.  This was a sweet day of remembering her and while getting to send her sweet messages.  While sitting there listening to the pastor talk I was taken back and reminded of something important.  He spoke of Ryan, the journey she had been on but then he said, “we must live life in the dash”.  The “dash” was the moments in between birth and death... we must live life, showed up for one another, serve one another, and the list goes on.  This “dash” was something I had heard before but I had never really reflected on it.  I immediately jumped in my mind to everything Ryan and I had done together… Dance, Girl Scouts, Crafting, Spring Break shopping trips, College and many other exciting things.  I wondered to myself were those memories she cherished like I did and was I a good friend to her.  As I continued to reflect I thought about her dash and everything that went into it.  She touched so many lives until the end and showed many just how life should be lived. 

Since that day I have continued to think of the dash and reflect on what mine would look like.  Will people know me for who I am? What will I do to portray the love of Christ to others?  How can I follow God’s plan for my life? All of those questions have taught me to live alittle differently.  The last two years of Ryan’s life were hard, she never took things seriously and lived it up as much as she could.  I watched her stand strong on some of her weakest days but she never once gave up.  She taught me what a true fighter looks like and how to have hope and faith beyond measure.  

Thanks Ryan for showing me how to live in the dash, have faith, hope and strength  I love you and miss you daily.  

First Meeting

A year ago today was a night that forever changed my life…. for the first time I was going to take risk.  All I knew is that God had prepared me for this day and given me the passion that drove me to where I was.   

It was on this day that I met Troy Livesay for an interview in The Woodlands, TX after work.  I embarked on this ride with a dear friend and was nervous the whole way.  I knew at the end of this dinner he would either think I was the right fit or not, he would call his wife Tara to discuss the options and then call me to let me know the answer.  I had met Tara via Skype three weeks earlier which helped put me at ease a little but an interview just sounds and makes everything official.                         

When we arrived I was a mess… my mind flooded with emotions, questions and the unknown.  Could I really move to a third world country?  What would it look like?  What will my family and friends think?  Would I make friends in Haiti?  and the list went on and on.  However as I sat with Troy and we talked while asking questions and sharing I felt complete PEACE. It was a weird feeling and it’s hard to explain but everything I had prayed for over the last month felt right in my heart. 

As we left I didn’t know what to expect.  I got in the car and my friend said “Well, what do you think?”  I just looked at her and said I don’t know.  I am so confused and I am not sure if he liked me or if I even made sense while I was talking.  The whole way home we talked about how this door had been opened for me, how God had prepared this specific opportunity for me and how God will provide in this situation.  

Sure enough around 10:00 PM, Troy called and offered me the job.  I knew that if he called and offered me the job that he would need answer that night, to help with other planning and things.  I proudly said YES and thanked him and Tara for the opportunity.  I hung up the phone and couldn’t believe it.  It was November 2nd and in 2 months I would be moving to Haiti to live full time and teach 5 adorable children.  

Here I am one year later, sitting my apartment, we just finished a full day of school, celebrated one of those adorable children's 10th birthdays and I am still as thankful as I was a year ago.  It may not seem like a big deal to most of you but for me, this was the first time for me to move away from Texas, much less, Houston.  Everything I had ever know was going to change, my parents would be down the street, I wouldn't be able to call up a friend for dinner or run to HEB or Target real quick to grab something.  However, I knew in my heart for the last two years God was changed me but I wanted the right door to open at the right time.  Boy did he do that. I have leaned so much on this journey.  I have learned more about myself, how to take risks, how to trust, how to have faith as small as a mustard seed and much more.  Troy, Tara and their awesome kiddos have loved me, laughed with me, taken care of me and challenged me.  My heart is forever thankful for them and I feel lucky to be serving them here in Haiti.