Beautifully In Over my Head!

Today marks 3 weeks since I left home, today also marks one of the longest times I have been away from home....thank God for FaceTime!  I remember it like it was yesterday.  I remember hugging my mom, walking away and losing it.  Then walking into the airport hugging my dad, walking away and continue the tears.  At that moment I thought to myself what have I gotten myself into.  I tried hard in that moment to remember that I was stepping out of the boat and having faith but it was hard.  

Back track to October with me real quick...this is when I start the process of praying and figuring out if Haiti was where I needed to be.  A sweet of mine sent me the song below, "In Over My Head" by Bethel Music.  As I listened to the song my eyes teared up because these were the exact feelings I was having with myself and God.  The words hit home and continue to today as I am living out this new adventure.  I have always tried to control every aspect of my life but I knew in order have faith I had to allow God to tear down certain things.  I wasn't sure what God was doing in my heart but I vowed to myself to trust Him and be obedient.  I never once thought I accidentally stumbled across the Livesay's blog or post.  I was happy and content with life in Texas.  I had a job, a house, a car, family down the street, friends to distract and encourage me and many other things at my disposal.  However I was at place where I longed to know Him more and quench my thirst for more.  So after many alone times with God I knew none of things meant much to me because there was in fact more He wanted for me.  I knew I was blessed but I hadn't fully trusted God or stretched my faith outside of my bubble.  I wanted to be in over my head and know that he will help me.  After 21 days it is still a challenge for me but like the lyrics to the song... Would you take me back to the place where my heart was only about You, And all I wanted was just to be with You... I know in these still moments God is working in my heart and showing me what it means to get further and further away from the "shore".

I love when I find a song that relates to my story and where I am right now.  Please take time to listen to this song by Bethel Music and let these words soak in!  

http://youtu.be/6mAvt3CxEQM

"In Over my Head" By Bethel Music

I have come to this place in my life

I'm full but I've not satisfied

This longing to have more of You

And I can feel it my heart is convinced

I'm thirsty my soul can't be quenched

You already know this but still

Come and do whatever You want to

I'm standing knee deep but I'm out where I've never been

And I feel You coming and I hear Your voice on the wind

Would  you come and tear down the boxes that I have tried to put You in

Let love come teach me who You are again

Would you take me back to the place where my heart was only about You

And all I wanted was just to be with You

Come and do whatever You want to

And further and further my heart moves away from the shore

Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours

And further and further my heart moves away from the shore

Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours

Then You crash over me and I've lost control but I'm free 

I'm going under, I'm in over my head

Then you crash over me, and that's where You want me to be

I'm going under, I'm in over my head

Whether I sink, whether I swim

It makes no difference when I'm beautifully in over my head

Whether I sink, whether I swim

It makes no difference when I'm beautifully in over my head

I'm Beautifully in over my head, I'm Beautifully in over my head

Typical Day

Days in Haiti are definitely different than days in Texas!  At home I would go, go, go and here I have learned to slow down... and by slow down I mean I still have a schedule but I am not constantly worrying about what's next or how will it get done.  It's awesome how God uses things to show you what matters the most and slow you down.  

Most of you have asked what a typical day looks like to me so I thought I would share that with you all!  Here is goes...

School starts at 9:00 AM so Hallie and I wake up around 8:00 AM...well I guess I should say between 6:00-6:30 AM when "ROKO" the rooster starts his morning routine.  School consists of Math, Typing, Geography, Reading, Science, English and Elective.  Each day we spend about 45 minutes doing each area and have time for fun as well.  These kiddos keep me laughing and up to date on the cool music!

The Livesay Bunch!

Once school is done for the day Hallie and I head back to our apartment and hangout.  Our evenings consist of a wide range of different things: reading, coloring, cooking, working out or watching Netflix. We have to be pretty flexible because sometimes we do not always have the best electricity.  The compound runs on a generator or city power during the day which means we can use our fans, charge phones and laptops and have numerous things on but at night sometimes we switch to battery power which means we have to conserve our usage so we don't drain the batteries.  It's been a learning experience but an easy one.

Our Patio workout set-up

Life in Haiti has been good... I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything.  3 weeks have gone by and I miss my family and friends but I know I can do anything with prayer and faith.  God has showed up big time and is stretching me beyond boundaries. I love this quote from Mandy Hale that I saw this week and feel as though this is me for 2016.

As I wrap up this update I ask that you continue to pray for a few different things.  Please pray for the Livesay's, Hallie and myself as we continue to adapt to new schedules and new surrounds.   Also please pray for Haiti as whole, this country is special to my heart and has many different needs.   

My new reality

Well one week of school down and a successful week it was.  Monday we started school and met all the kids together.  Troy and Tara came to kick off the week and prayed with us.  There are 5 children total; Hope (14), Issac (14), Noah (11), Phoebe (9) and Lydia (8) and each one has their own personality.   They are such sweet amazing kids which has helped make this transition even more fun!  Their energy partnered with their love for school and love for each other makes the days go by quick. I am teaching the older three and Hallie is teaching the younger two. We spent much of this week coming up with a schedule and introducing some new ideas. Overall everyone is doing well and enjoying each other. 

Besides school everything else is going well. I am not going to lie... I will say the first full day was hard for me; all I wanted to do was cry.  I was hot, scared and didn't know what I had gotten myself into.  But once school started all that changed.  Hallie and I spend the afternoon and evenings doing a few different things.  I have already read one book and I am on my second which for me is huge.  We have cooked one meal which was yummy and made guacamole with this amazing avocado. 

The avocados are huge when in season and only cost $1.00 USD.  

We have ventured out of the gates twice to the little market on the corner, while dodging motos.  The market is nice and has lots of different things we may need.  This week was special and after school Tuesday, The Livesay's had a little party for us and invited other Americans living here in Haiti over to meet Hallie and I.  It was a fun night and I enjoyed getting to know more about Haiti and others who live here too.

Fun Facts from the week: 

1) Each day after a hot day...never has a cold shower felt so good!

2) Deodorant application happens about 3 times a day

3) A rooster wakes me up every morning and it is just like the movies

It is finally starting to set in... This is my new reality.  I am thankful for this opportunity and those that have supported me.  It's rewarding to know that this is my life and I have been removed from my comfort zone.  I am being stretched and know that with God all is possible.  He has me here for a reason.  I know it will start to feel more normal and until then I will take each day as it comes. 

Heartline Academy School building

The Crew

My Apartment

Year 4 or shall we say Senior Year!

January 2016 marks my 4th year to visit Haiti with my church.  Over 5 years ago when this idea was discussed I never thought I would have visited Haiti much less be living here for 6 months.  The week is something I look forward to each year.  During our time in Haiti our team teaches the children and adults of the village, plays different sports and shares the love of Christ.    

This being our 3rd time to this specific village things start to feel more comfortable... You recognize faces, Faces recognize you, the landscape changes and new development happens.  It's amazing to see how each year this village is more welcoming and loving as the year before.  If you know me you know that my favorite part is coming and playing with the children, however I do have a favorite person... Her name is Chesna!  She is my sponsorship child and I have sponsored her for 2 years now.  Her house is at the bottom of the hill (mountain to me) that we hike down each morning.  Each day she is outside of her house waiting for our arrival.  This year was extra special because she really remembered me and spent most days hanging out with me or just helping me.  She was always by my side.  I may not have my own child but she sure does feel close enough.  I hate that we don't speak the same language but facial expressions and sweet touches make my heart happy.  

During this trip each year I love seeing my other friends "teammates" smiles just as big as mine when they see their special friend from years gone by.  There were some special, sweet moments that happened each day that have been engrained in my head the last few days.  I tried my best to capture each one and wanted to share them with you.

 










 

Haiti or Bust

Yesterday was a one on the hardest days of my life.  I was not expecting this wave of emotion but it hit me like a ton of bricks.

As we got halfway to the airport it hit me, I am leaving for 6 months.  I am leaving everything I have ever known, everyone I hold dear to my heart and all of my comfort zones.  As we pulled up to the airport...my parents dropped me and my 4 bags off to say our last goodbyes.  We cried a little bit but it wasn't until I walked away I lost it.  What am I doing?  Why are you doing this?  I cried and hugged my sweet friends that were with me.  The tears cleared up quickly when I selected 4 bags on the bag check and the total appeared.  It was $565.00, I laughed and said to myself, well it has to get there. As I walked away I slowly took drop breathes and was reminded by a few keys things as I start this adventure.  

1) Stepping out on faith and your comfort zone does not mean it will be easy.  

2) It's okay to be scared... The unknown will quickly become familiar to me.  

3) Part of the adventure is getting to share the story and see how God works in your own life.  

So today as we headed to the village for the first visit it began to sink in.  Driving through different towns, hearing the horns and seeing the hustle and bustle.  I thought to myself... What did I get myself into?  Am I going to make it here?  In 4 days my sweet friends will leave me and I will start a new adventure.  But I was quickly reminded that He has a plan for me.  He has opened this door and I never once looked back.  It was a blessing to be back in Chadirac today and see familiar faces.  My heart was quickly cleared up and I felt at home.  Here are some memories from today!